Journal of a Psychopath

Unknown

2004-08-17T06:09:44Z

Not really much to comment about seeing as nothing different has really happened to me within the days prior to my last entry, that is other than the fact of me giving my former place of 'employment' total hell. That much I shall continue to do until I get my friggin' paycheck for the days I worked unknowing of my 'replacement' by the corporate assholes that make all of our lives peachy.

Aside from that...

Apparently my old rpg group has revived itself (at least momentarily) and a few of the old group members have made their remaining presence known. Me on the other hand, I choose not to post. Why is that? Let's just say that several of my former group members have turned into complete assholes and all sided with the *cough*bitch*cough* that acted like she was better than everyone else. Don't ask me why they did but I guess it happens and I really don't have much to say upon the matter seeing as the supreme bitch also decided to make her presence known to one and all once again.

Screw it. I'd rather remain eternally anonymous on the internet than attempt to interact with half that bunch again. Besides, I've got a new rpg group to run with and on top of that Camp Hyrule started today, so I should have plenty to keep me busy whenever I'm on the net. Also started to CG yet another new picture of mine shortly after completing my last so that too should keep me occupied, and if any of you out there floating around in netland are interested in seeing my last pic go ahead and feel free to comment here and I'll provide a link.

Well got to go again, artwork calls.

Note: I forgot to mention but I've recently changed LJ User Names and as such I'll dedicate this account mainly to my rants. My new LJ User Name will be dedicated to my local activities and creative materials, so please update your friends list accordingly.

My new User ID is seishirou666

-Raz

Blank Once Again...

2004-08-11T06:11:00Z

Not much to speak of today other than the fact I'm still a bit down and raising hell, but other than that nothing much. Just figured I post up this interesting little meme up since one of my net buddies had it posted in their LJ.

Enjoy:

You Know You're From New York City When...

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle
to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can’t find
Wisconsin on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

The subway makes sense.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language makes you multi-lingual.

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet
and you think it’s a "steal."

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in
the U.S. pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since
you went away to camp as a kid.

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans
are heading to bed.

Your closet is filled with black clothes.

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s,
and when you did, it terrified you.

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

You take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing
on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most
American towns.

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli,
your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite
bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your
corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy
is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking
regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read
it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

*Dies*

-Raz

..............

2004-08-10T06:33:39Z

I am so fronging depressed at the moment and needless to say my day has sucked major ass.

I managed to get things sorted out with my part-time job today, in short they axed me. Whee! I may get the cash they owe me for the time I worked, but still the dumbasses hired someone to replace me almost a month ago saying that I #$%^ing quit, funny how I thought I'd be the first one to know about it but obviously these dumbasses know more about my mind than I do. Also who the $%*&ing hell do they think has been doing the job all this time when the my 'replacement' only shows up twice a week? Guess they think the mother#$*!ing tooth fairy is doing the job or something.

Also it would be nice if the assholes notified me of my 'replacement' and my supposed 'quitting' sooner, not tell me "We'll take care of the problem" and then axe my ass because you made a total dumbass out of yourself and hired another guy without knowing jack-shit. More than likely my 'replacement' got hired only because he was related to one of my bosses and they needed a spot to fit him in and choose to toast my ass because of it. The #$%^ing bastards deserve to have their asses kicked, too bad I can't do it legally because I'd be more than happy to beat the living shit out of them with a lead pipe or any sort of inanimate object lying around.

Bastards don't know that apparently I need this job on top of my full-time one just to make ends meet, and go figure they don't give a @^*$ing damn about what they do as long as they get their bitchy-ass relative hired. But I'm not going down without a fight, hell no, since tomorrow I'm calling the department of labor and raising hell like never before, not to mention calling them and telling them what I'm planning to do about their little 'process'. I'm not planning to stop until I've drug their asses through the @#$%ing dirt and from hell and back. All the while I'm going to be laughing my damn head off like a lunatic.

Hope you sleep well tonight assholes, because I'm going to make your lives all living hell very shortly.

-Raz

Arggh

2004-08-03T07:39:06Z

Shit my arm hurts like hell, can't even bend the stupid thing or pain goes shooting through it, so in short it's a pain in the arse doing one-handed typing (rough time spent on this entry = over 20 mins max). I just woke up this morning and this pain was in my damn arm, don't know what the hell's wrong with it though I'm beginning to think that I pulled a muscle or something. ><;

What luck I have, and things weren't much fun at work thanks to it (but then again is work ever really fun?) so I'm about one step away from cutting the @#$%ing thing off. But then again that looks even more painful as demonstrated by this killer Berserk AMV I downloaded for the song 'Chop Suey', rather appropriate for the subject I'd say. So if you're remotely interested in what I mean download that video and watch the end of it, then you'll know what I mean. Ah well, if I do end up cutting it off I can always go and chase the damn neighborhood kids with it and scare the living shit out of them.

That's always fun.

And I'm still working on the god-forsaken picture of mine, though needless to say the condition of my shitty arm kind of restricts my progress, hence more time I need to spend on it. -_-;

The price of art.

*Rips of arm and smacks the update journal button*

-Raz

Another Entry

2004-07-29T07:40:59Z

Well not too much has happened since my last update other than the fact that my boss of my part-time job screwed up my last paycheck so I had to call and bitch at him, only to be told that the guy above me said I quit. Geez, first time I heard about it and I'm the one that's supposed to have quit, but what do I know about the matter? Hopefully when my next check comes in (if it does tks. to these morons) I'll get the cash that they owe me which is exactly half my paycheck, and if they don't looks like I'll have to raise some hell again. Also, on top of that the place where I bought my latest sword from has charged my fronging debit card twice for the exact same item, so I had to call yesterday and bitch at the bank about the problem so hopefully they'll have that fixed soon too seeing as that's a lot of cash missing between the two issues.

Between bitching at businesses and work I haven't had too much free time, though I have managed to start working on more of my artwork (only late at night seeing as that's my only free time). The latest piece that I'm working on is finished in pencil, but I decided to take a shot at CGing it and scanned it into my computer, so for the past three days now I've wasted most of my net/comp time working on this thing and it's not even half-way finished. ><; But I suppose that's to be expected with such a big and detailed piece, that and I don't want it to look shitty after I've colored it (like too many of my colored pieces have gone). Maybe I'll post up the pic in my online gallery once I'm done and post the link here, that is if anyone's actually interested.

Before I forget I also joined Camp Hyrule (10th annual), a special online camp that lasts August 16-20 and has a ton of activities and other cool stuff. But if you're interested in joining you better join before 5:00pm PST today, after that registration is closed and you're out of luck until next year.

So check out http://www.camphyrule.com to join in on the festivities.

Also take a peek back to my last entry and see yet another new update to my infamous list, though it's a rather small update this time around (artwork is calling again), but enjoy it all the same.

Out of time,

-Raz

Update!

2004-07-22T09:00:24Z

The infamous list has been updated with 25 brand-new things that are bound to either amuse or piss you off.

So check it out via the link provided below:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/muraki_666/31793.html

Have fun,

-Raz

Random Stupidity

2004-07-21T08:52:24Z

As usual I don't have much to say (do I ever?) so I've decided to try and entertain myself by posting a list of things that I hate/annoy me (not like anyone out there actually reads this thing other than myself, and even I can't read it sometimes). It may sound similar to a listing that I did in an earlier entry in this journal but rest assured it shall be more extensive in length and perhaps more detailed. So if you're interested or are bored and just looking to kill some time feel free to take a look but remember this is all my personal opinion and I'm rightfully entitled to it. Be fore-warned then that if you're easily offended, overly emotional or just can't handle another person's opinion don't read this entry.

Please also note that these things appear in random order so number one isn't necessarily the thing that pisses me off most. Just in case some people out there get a bit confused.

WARNING: This is a rant, or piece of writing that has me go off on particular things that piss me off. So don't read this if you're: easily offended, can't stand insults, random curses, take things too seriously, don't believe others have a first amendment right or are too much of a pansy.

(Just in case some geniuses out there didn't read the first warning.)

Things That Piss Me Off

A listing by Raz

1. Religious maniacs.

Believe whatever the hell you want to but don't try to tell me how to live my life and what I should believe in. Also don't act like you're so much better than me because of your religious beliefs because you're probably worse off than I am. Oh well, just means due to your religion that you're one step closer to hell and I'm one step closer to blissful oblivion.

2. Emotional people.

WTF is wrong with this type of people and why do they always act so fronging retarded? One minute these people are all happy and bubbly making other people almost sick enough to puke from it, then the next minute they turn around and start wailing and acting like the freaking world is going to end over some stupid trivial matter. No one likes to put up with these emotional punching bags, hell, most of us would rather put up with a room full of bi-polar senior citizens than deal with this type of human trash. What the hell is wrong with the world when a majority of the population needs emotional therapy?

The only thing these people need is to toughen up and quit being so easily 'hurt' or moody about things, aka get off the freaking PMS already.

3. People persons.

I absolutely hate these types. Just because they love people they think that the rest of the world @#$%ing should too, well hate to break it to them but some of us out there hate people to the point that we'd kill them all if we could. So get the @#^& away from me.

It's also pathetic how these people seem to thrive off of human contact to the point that if they ever lost it they'd probably kill themselves. Why do certain people need another human to be complete? I honestly don't understand it, don't you have a mind or will power of your own? Whatever happened to being independent and all that rot or did that notion just recently fly out the window without my noticing? Why are people so @#*&ing clingy that they have to be in a relationship at all times or they think the world is coming to an end?

Get a life. You know this is bad coming from a guy with no real life of his own, but sadly compared to these people I actually have one.

4. LJ Groupies.

This is just another form of the 'cliques' that plague the outside world. You know the type of people that always flock together in a LJ group and ostracize those who don't have the same @#$%ing brain as them. Excuse me for having an individual personality and not just being another mindless clone of yourself, but I suppose that's how life works sometimes isn't it? Everyone can't @#^&ing be like you so don't expect them to, and if you do then you're a stupidass.

Don't expect me to change just to gain your acceptance because I honestly don't need it, and maybe you little bitches will eventually realize that you've pissed your miserable little lives away playing Mr./Mrs. Popular on the internet because it isn't going to get you shit in real life. Unless that is, you plan on all meeting up sometime in the future and forming your own cult and then commit mass suicide from a Kool-Aid overdose.

5. The Know-it-alls.

You think you know everything, well sorry to say loser but you don't. I hate the people that worse off try to act smarter than you when in reality they're a total dumbass and can make a @#^&ing toilet duck look like it can do Calculus. I'm sure plenty of you out there have met the type and they're one of the worse plagues to dwell upon this planet and maybe it's another of the many reasons we as a civilization are also going down the shitter. An example of this type is the aforementioned Kamui player (check previous posts for details) who tries too hard to act smarter than you and make you look stupid in front of a group, but when you end up busting their little act they try to act like they're doing something good/nice for you. @$%^ you, you just made a total dumbass about yourself so that's why you're trying to cover it up and apologize now.

Take that biatch!

6. Whores and Sluts.

One of the lowest forms of human life these people are an absolute disgrace to everything moral and formerly honorable about this world.

(Please refer to 'Moral Decay' rant for further details)

7. Kids.

The evil little brats just have to die as well as the morons that insist upon pro-creating to make the world a shittier place.

8. Celebrities of all shapes and forms.

These assholes have the whole world at their feet and more often than not they are worshipped like they're gods. I don't know about anyone else but I'm not worshipping some stuck-up asshole just because they were in a movie, on a sports team, or made a cd. Whatever happened to the real art behind film and why is it that film has suddenly evolved and increased in value more so than other types of art? If a regular artist is lucky the only time that their work will hold any sort of real value is after they're dead, but then again they can't really benefit from it then can they?

9. Band Worshippers.

A whole new meaning to pathetic is given by this bunch who actually might think that these people give a shit about them.

10. Obese People.

Don't you hate it when these type of people ride those little motorized scooters meant for physically disabled people in stores? I know that I do seeing as I don't believe these jerks have a disorder, they're just damn lazy and don't feel like walking a little bit which would probably do their fatasses some good. I don't know why the hell that people are so against smoking cigarettes that they're going to huge extremes to stop people from smoking, but what about the lardos? Obesity is now considered to be one of the highest causes of deaths in America and yet we don't ban food or keep the lardos from eating whenever the hell they want. Why the hell should I stop smoking for health reasons when these fatasses won't stop eating?

I'll stop smoking when the lardos stop eating.

11. Judgemental Bastards.

Don't judge a snake before it strikes.

12. Old People.

I've mentioned them before, check back entries for details.

13. People who don't know how to drive.

Learn to @#^*ing drive or get the hell off the road.

14. Wannabes.

This type always tries too hard to be 'cool' and follows the mindless trends set by another bunch of equally mindless idiots.

15. Teenagers.

I hate all of them in general, though particular teenage girls because of how shallow and stuck-up they are, but teenager guys aren't exactly the brightest crayons in the box either.

16. Babies.

They're loud, they're annoying and the world would be a better place without them and most people in general.

17. Reality TV.

The idea is just stupid if I wanted to see real life people doing stupid shit then I'd just have to look out my door and watch the drama between my neighbors in the hallway.

18. The Olsen Twins.

Need I say anything at all?

19. Feminists.

Sure they want all the same rights as men but when it comes down to things like the death penalty or something else they don't like then they want to be treated differently.

20. Hippies.

Just shove that tye-dyed poncho up your ass and cram that bullshit you keep spewing and get a reality check.

21. Racists.

These people just need to be taken out and shot.

22. Rednecks.

The same that applies above can be said about a majority of this group.

23. Faghags.

You know the skanky bitches that like to hang out with a group of gay guys. Maybe they're trying to also pick up the 'scraps' left over by their little group.

24. Adults who lack responsibility for their children.

Sure, blame all the movies, tv shows, video games, music, and whatever else you want, the fact of the matter is that it still doesn't change the fact that you're a shitty parent.

25. Scooby Doo.

Just @#*&ing kill the franchise already before I shoot myself.

~Update July 22, 2004~

26. Shrek.

WTF is up with this whole Shrek thing anyways? It's ok if you see it maybe once but not when you see it everywhere you fronging go. I mean Shrek's on freaking everything nowadays: soap, tooth brushes, cereal, fruit snacks, books, chips, shoes, shirts, toys, candy, etc. He's even went as far as to make @#^&ing cameo appearances in my dreams to promote his movies and then his shitty-ass merchandise. Obviously this ogre is starved for attention or something and I wouldn't be surprised that if sooner or later I end up seeing @%^&ing Shrek's face on a pack of tampons over at the local grocery store.

New donkey hair tampons for all the Shrek ladies out there! And new also, Shrek condoms! Now in Ogre berry and Donkey berry flavors!

27. The War between the Israelis and Palestiniens.

@#$%ing get over it and share the damn city or divide it in half, or better yet go for my original suggestion and have the good old USA blow it up and then we'll take it over.

28. Sex and the City.

Four skanky bitches who's soul mission in life is to get laid every single episode, I even saw the damn tv crew for that piece of shit show in town and I was thinking of threatening that I was a suicide bomber and would blow their skanky asses to hell and back (aka K-Mart). It'd be one helluva nightmare for them with their rich tastes, but maybe it'll teach them to keep their @#$%ing legs closed and get a real job other than being $1.00 prostitutes. And people love this show? WTF is wrong with you?! All you are is perverted little bastards that try to hide their sick little mannerisms behind some glamourized, overrated, cheapo porn.

Congratulations, you're a pervert as well as a dumbass.

29. Star Trekkies.

Do these people not have lives or are they still living in their elderly mother's basements? And where the hell do they get all their money for their stupid memorbilia and costumes? What are they doing, selling their mom's panties on ebay?

30. Michael Moore.

He's a @#$%ing hippy, that's all that really needs to be said about this douche bag. Go fight the @^&*ing war yourself smartass if you think you can stop it by shooting flowers out of your ass at the pissed off Afghanis/Iraqis. Maybe they'll stop attacking our country if you shove your head up your ass and then commit suicide. The world will be a better off place without you.

31. Country Music.

It makes your ears bleed and you have reoccurring dreams about killing off the Dixie Chicks with a toilet wand (that's after Shrek's cameo of course).

32. The Queer Eye Guys.

Now the world is complete now that we have five flaming guys teaching straight men how to act gay. Maybe I missed the concept, but if they're straight why the @#$%ing hell do they want to act gay?

33. Disney Sequels.

If Disney hasn't cashed in enough on all it's various franchises they go and do something like this; making sequels to every #^&*ing movie in Disney history. What's next? A sequel to Bambi where he gets shot or his mother comes back from the grave and tells him something with absolutely no meaning and he has some stupidass kid? Whoopee! I can't wait for more sequels to come out that way I can use them as blunt object weapons against the girl scouts when they come by next time.

34. American Cartoons Posing as Anime.

You are not pulling it off, you're just making us look like the copycat bastards that we really are.

35. Drag Queens.

Ok, let's get this straight, we have big hairy-ass guys dressing like women in hot pants and tube tops? Tell me what's not wrong with that.

36. God Moders.

Never, ever god mode in my freaking rpg or so help me god I will #$%^ing kill off your character in the most humiliating way possible.

37. Romantics.

True love doesn't exist period.

38. Romance Novels.

It's nothing but porno in novel format for women, and they say we men are perverted.

39. Oprah.

The epitamy of all evil in the form of some giant ape with bad make-up. She's like freaking Mecca to house wives who migrate to her studios almost religiously, so she can tell them how to live their miserable lives. WTF does she know about their lives? She's richer than fronging hell and doesn't even have to wipe her own ass.

40. Paternity Tests on Talk Shows.

Really, if you don't know who the #$*^ your baby's father is then isn't that sort of a sign from god that you shouldn't be a slut?

41. France.

They just suck, no explaination necessary for the smelly bastards.

42. Rappers.

Anyone can be a rapper, your senile old grandma could be a rapper.

43. EMO.

Just die.

44. Punks/Skateboarders.

You're not cool, you're not different, all you're proving is that you're a stupid little prick that's following some dumbass trend that a 12 year old thought up while he was being smacked in the ass by a wet towel in gym class.

45. Backstabbers.

Like stabbing people in the back? Well, I just like stabbing people.

46. Britney Spears.

She's a damn slut and everyone knows it, so why the hell is she trying to act all badass all of a sudden? What the pedophiles aren't buying your albums anymore because you finally hit puberty?

47. Vain People.

You're going to get old and ugly no matter what you do.

48. MTV.

Pure trash broadcasted over television, the whole concept of the show has been all but destroyed for cheapass reality shows.

49. Internet Stalkers.

Again another example of how pathetic people are getting nowadays, especially when they try to 'hit it off' with an internet romance. What the bloody hell is your problem?!

50. The RIAA.

Now these assmunches have serious issues. What the hell is wrong with downloading a couple of songs that you'll probably listen to every once and awhile at most? Don't the celebrities have enough freaking money or do they need to squeeze the extra blood and cash out of us to get themselves that new golden bathtub they've always dreamed about? And like hell I'm paying for a $18 cd that has only one song that I like on it.

Die @#^&ing RIAA, suing the people that line your pockets with all those hundreds you like to flash and spend on stupid shit.

~Update 8/29/04~

51. ROM Users.

True, I have no problem with downloading a couple of songs, but that's only because musicians are stinking rich bastards. Now downloading and using a ROM is #$%^ed up, because first of all it's a full-length video game that costs a ton to make and second and most importantly the video game team/designers aren't rich. They don't own a mercedes benz or have someone chauffer them around everywhere they want, rather they're just like your everyday average people and make video games because they love doing so. Like hell they're doing it just for cash seeing as they could just become another one of many crappy-ass rappers out there and bleed the public dry, but they don't.

So ROM users need to be turned over to the @$%*ing FBI for piracy.

52. Jocks/Athletes.

Nearly as bad as damn musicians and celebrities, these are nothing more than your typical high school jocks evolved into a bigger and more stupid form and paid wads of cash to play a stupid game.

53. People Opposing Gay Marriage.

Look, why the #$%^ing hell does anyone else care what these people do in their private lives? I know that I don't give a damn as long as they're not involving me in the matter, so they should get to do WTF ever they want. You don't see them coming over to heterosexual peoples' homes and demanding to know who they're sleeping with and whether it's legal or not, so why not give them the same courtesy? I'm no freaking activist or anything (being the anti-human and all), but why not let them be just as miserable as heterosexuals and get married?

I rest my case, and if you dare try to throw religion into this whole mess I swore I'm going to knock your @#$^ing head off with Mr.Crowbar(tm).

54. Morning People.

Look, not all of us are happy to be up in the morning so shove it.

55. X-box.

The controller is big enough to kill a freaking cat, not to mention that the rest of the console is overly chunky. Also the games on the system suck and so do the little X-box obsessors that still believe that a single game like Halo (also available for PC note) is going to make that shitty excuse for a game system win the console wars.

56. Human doormats.

Get a spine.

57. My neighbors.

Stop #%^&ing already!

58. People that think animation are just for kids.

Look at most anime, and if you want take a look at freaking Heavy Metal and you'll know that 'animation' isn't just for kids.

59. People without an imagination.

I don't know how these people survive, I for one know that I'd die if I didn't have my freaky fantasy world to retreat to.

60. Easily frightened people.

They're so afraid of everything it's almost disgusting, esp. when people say what I talk/draw/write about is frightening even when it's not.

~Update 8/05/04~

61. OC Whores.

WTF is up with people that just have to have an original character in a rpg with a currently existing story/characters? Especially if there are still characters available for playing? I guess these people are really attention-starved, this much is made obvious enough when a person decides to make themself the original character. Maybe I missed the whole point of rping, but why the @#%&ing hell do I want to rp as myself when I can just go outside and do some real %^*!ing living? Wow, life's a rpg after all! But honestly, I play in a rpg so that I can be someone else other than myself and that would otherwise be impossible in reality, so WTF is up with people who do this?

Go outside and live dumbass if you want to rp as yourself or at least try an original character game like D&D or something.

62. The sun.

It burns the hell out of my skin and my eyes, as far as I'm concerned I'd be happy never seeing the sun again.

63. Dumbasses.

No explaination needed.

64. Verizon Wireless.

Can you hear me now as I shove this cel phone up your ass?

65. Society.

Anarchy forever!

~ Update 8/08/04 ~

66. Carrot Top.

Is it just me or does anyone else out there feel the urge to kill this moron with an egg beater?

67. Boost Mobile.

Now those commercials are just wrong.

68. Cell Phones in General.

I hate cell phones and the morons that use them when they drive. Who the hell is so important that you can't say 'I'm busy right now, I'll call you when I get home'? I doubt you're getting a call from the freaking president asking for your decision on what our next strategic action should be in Iraq, so whatever else it is can #$%^ing wait.

Teenage girls with cell phones should in particular be taken out and shot because of this.

69. People that butcher the english language.

Dammit to bloody hell, is it so freaking hard to run a spell and grammar check before you post? Also would it kill you to make a paragraph?

70. Stubborn people with an attitude.

Believe me I know there's plenty of these out there since I live with 99.9% of them just here in NYC alone so I'm not in the mood to put up with this shit online as well, especially when these characteristics are featured in an original rpg character (see #61). In a OC these traits are downright annoying especially if this character constantly gets in your character's face being an asshole and thinking that they can do WTF ever they want and get away with it and not to mention that they're better than your character in ever aspect.

$%^& you.

71. The 'High and Mighty'

I absolutely hate people that think they're better than others for any reason, whether it be because they're wealthier, better looking, more popular or WTF-ever doesn't matter.

72. Fashion freaks.

As long as you're not running around naked you should be happy and as a bonus I get to keep the sight in my remaining eye. We both win.

73. Loud people.

Just shut the #$^* up nobody cares what you have to say.

74. High School.

A horrible excuse for an education system which is more like a death trap than anything.

75. Lines at the bank.

Is it so fronging difficult to cash my check? Also why the freaking hell does the clerk have to do a background check on me when they've known me for years now?

I'm trying to go for 100 on the list whenever I can think up more (should be rather easy), so check back for future journal updates if you want to see the rant-a-thon continue.

Humans are like a cancer; they slowly eat away and poison everything around them.

-Raz

.....

2004-07-20T05:59:37Z

I have absolutely nothing to say!

Well, other than the fact that I am now the proud owner of a replica of the sword the Bride wields in Kill Bill, but other than that nothing! Whee!!!

Peace, love, and remember to floss,

-Raz

Not much

2004-07-14T06:18:32Z

Things are going incredibly slow, as usual. Sometimes it just seems like it takes an eternity just for a single day to finally pass by while I'm silently screaming 'WTF!!!' as loud as I can in my head. But other than that I suppose things are pretty much ordinary on my end of the world (though that still amounts to sucking IMO), just doing the usual routine of working and trying not to kill all the annoying assholes that compose the rest of the outside world. That and maybe I'm in a bit of a pissed off mood due to my lack of funds for the time being, that and my rpg is still going slower than bloody hell.

I swore that my last post (which was OOC) was roughly 60 messages ago and my last IC post was over 100 ago, and I still can't move because I'm stuck in the same f@#%ing timerift. Not to mention it seems like everyone decided to take a vacation or their computers decided to take a shitter so it's going even slower than it normally does, which leaves me stuck for an unknown amount of time. I haven't posted in nearly three weeks and honestly I don't think that I have much to post about considering the fact that both of my characters are stuck until the time finally changes, that and I'm sadly beginning to run out of backstory to keep posting to myself about. ><;;;

Ok, think I bitched enough about that.

Other than that recently got ahold of Adobe Premiere and am hoping to make my first AMV sometime this year, seeing as it will probably take forever for me to find the time to complete it anyways.

Well, run out of stuff to talk/bitch about, so remember...that life sucks and then you die, so piss off as many people as you can before you go.

-Raz

Tired...

2004-07-10T21:54:15Z

I am so fronging tired, but as usual I can't sleep no matter how hard I try and I can't take any sort of sleeping pills because of my medication, that is unless I want to lie knocked out in a self-induced coma for a few months. Which wouldn't necessarily be all that bad had I not needed to work to support myself, because if I'm in a fronging coma no one but me can pay the hospital bills. So here I am sitting up after nearly two days straight without sleep and I'm freaking hyper for some unknown reason, why I seem to get a buzz off of having no sleep I'll never know, but I feel like I could run a marathon through the city and not even break into a sweat. As it is I'm already about ready to bounce off the walls, but at least I'd fit in with all the other freaking loonies at this apartment complex; maybe I'll go up and join the party animals for absolutely no reason later tonight (not like I have anything better to do, and the fact that they don't give a damn who walks in and joins their party).

Strangely haven't seen Walker in awhile, but that's probably because I'm dirt poor and can't afford any alcohol at the moment, that and I'm trying to quit drinking seeing as it's probably going to seriously mess me up thanks to my damn meds. I guess in a way it's good to be left to myself for awhile seeing as I'm naturally a loner and that I see little reason to be around other people unless absolutely necessary (aka work and college), besides I seem to work a lot better by myself. But speaking of college, I should be getting my associates degree in Webdesign at the end of this coming school year and then I plan on moving to a new apartment and after a year or so transfer out of the country. Hopefully things will work out as I planned, but then again life never goes as you plan it or so it seems (hence why I was rejected by an art college ><;;; ).

Also I'm in the process of getting set up for my first psychologist visit. Whee! Now I'll end up paying a total stranger to tell me I'm crazy when I could've figured that out myself for free.

My f@#%ing insurance on my bike suddenly went up too so I had to call the damn insurance company to bitch at them about why it suddenly changed, and guess what they told me? They said it was because I 'switched' vehicles and that I'd have to pay them almost the cost of my bike payment each month for 3 stinking months. ><;;;;; F@#^ing money-grubbing insurance company, I don't know why the f#%@ing hell that they decided to dump this into my lap out of the blue (especially after I've had my new bike for awhile now) but go figure that this damn system sucks. Next time I get in a freaking vehicular accident I'll make sure I die in the process that way I don't have to put up with this stupid shit, but knowing my luck if there's another side I'll probably end up having to put up with it either way.

But that's pretty much the update for now, and as you probably already noticed I once more changed my LJ layout, this time to a Groove Adventure Rave (aka Rave Master in English) theme, namely Plue in particular though. If you've never heard of the series I suggest you check it out (both the anime and manga), the manga is available from TokyoPop up to volume 8 so far (I believe) and the anime airs on Cartoon Network every Saturday night at 8:30 eastern/pacific.

So by the power of RAVE I command you to watch it damn you!

Or risk getting impaled when I chuck Plue at you.

I think I've got to get off this thing now...don't even know wtf I'm typing anymore, almost like I've got adult ADD or something (probably just the lack of sleep taking its effect). So I'll just leave things at that.

-Raz

Again and again

2004-06-29T08:42:50Z

Back again after yet another lack of updates, but by now if anybody reads this thing you've probably come to realize that this happens a lot.

Why do I even bother...?

-Raz

Bored

2004-06-20T06:41:40Z

Saw this on one of my buddy's journals and decided I'd use it just because I was bored as sin.

Here are the rules:
*bold the games you've completed
*italicise the games you started but never finished
*underline the games you own but haven't gotten to yet
*add three games of your own at the end

1. Final Fantasy VII -- Playstation
2. Metroid -- NES
3. Fallout -- PC
4. Halo -- Xbox
5. Resident Evil -- GameCube
6. Dark Cloud -- Playstation 2
7. Sonic the Hedgehog -- Sega Genesis
8. Sewer Shark -- Sega CD
9. Super Mario World -- SNES (several times)
10. Star Wars Trilogy -- Arcade
11. Final Fantasy IX -- Playstation
12. Mobile Suit Gundam: Zeonic Front == Playstation 2
13. Suikoden II - Playstation
14. Inuyasha -- PSone
15. Kingdom Hearts -- PS2
16. Arc the Lad II -- PSone
17. Threads of Fate -- PSX
18. Metroid Prime -- Gamecube
19. Chrono Trigger -- SNES
20. Final Fantasy IV -- SNES
21. Final Fantasy X -- PS2
22. Xenosaga -- PS2
23. Super Smash Bros Melee -- Gamecube
24. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask -- N64
25. Sonic 3 & Knuckles -- Genesis
26. Devil May Cry -- Playstation 2
27. Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles -- Gamecube
28. Balder's Gate II -- PC
29. Lunar: The Silver Star Story Complete -- PSone/Segacd
30. Myst -- PC/Saturn/PSone/DVD
31. NiGHTS into Dreams -- Saturn
32. Illusion of Gaia - SNES
33. Earthbound - SNES(Fuckin' hell, I loved that game as a kid.)
34. Silent Hill - PSone
35. Silent Hill 2 - PS2
36. Silent Hill 3 - PS2 (Beautiful soundtrack.)
37. Final Fantasy VIII - PSone
38. Ehrgeiz - PSX
39. Tekken Tag Tournament - PS2
40. Street Fighter 2: Champion Ed. - Sega Genesis
41. Lufia and the Fortress of Doom -- SNES
42. Lufia 2: Rise of the Sinistrals -- SNES
43. Seiken Densetsu 2 (Secret of Mana) -- SNES
44. Pokemon Red/Blue/Green/Yellow -- Gameboy
45. Sonic Adventure/DX -- Dreamcast
46. Bomberman64 -- N64
47. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time -- N64
48. Legend of Dragoon -- PSone
49. Ico -- PS2
50. Metal Gear Solid - PSone
51. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest - NES
52. Star Wars: Rogue Squadron - N64
53. Castlevania: SOTN - PSX
54. Final Fantasy VI - SNES/PSX (killer game)
55. X: Card of Fate -WSC

Wow, now wasn't that fun?

Other than that little thing I haven't much to say today save for the fact that I believe I'm at the last 'stage' of the Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures. Got to love Nintendo for putting out another Zelda title so quickly, but then again I'm a sucker for the series and rpgs in general. Why on earth that I love rpgs (and videogames in general) so much is probably because they allow me to be someone that I'll never in my entire life be and go on kickass adventures/quests that are all but impossible nowadays (seeing as swords are kinda useless against let's say...an atomic bomb). Dammit sometimes I really do wish that I lived off in one of my little videogame worlds, too bad that isn't possible.

Ah well.

Father's Day tomorrow/today. Yet another absolutely pointless holiday created by the greeting card companies, but then again what day hasn't become a holiday yet? I bet soon enough we'll end up seeing every day of the year turned into some sort of mindless holiday. 'Next Wednesday is *Dumbass Day*! All dumbasses stay home from work and sit at home scratching their asses watching tv' or Monday's 'Lawnmower Appreciation Day'. Someone needs to seriously kick the bozo's ass responsible for creating all these holidays.

Think I'm through ranting for the moment.

If they're going to create a holiday the next should be, 'Beat the Shit Out of Your Neighbor Day'

-Raz

Waste of Space

2004-06-18T05:38:50Z

Yet another stressful day is finally over with, and of course it's back either to the computer or one of my many game systems for entertainment and an escape from reality. Well, that and the fact that my brain seems to have already taken a vacation of it's own, but it's all for the better I suppose, not like I used it much anyway. Or maybe I just lost the 'feel' of using it seeing as prison doesn't require to much brainpower other than the fact how you're going to come up with a way not to get shanked. No need to worry of that outside of prison though (hopefully), but I wouldn't say it was a complete impossibility.

But other than that: went to work, came home and here I am now.

Exciting isn't it?

-Raz

Endless Days

2004-06-16T05:44:38Z

Damn I'm tired, but as always I'm unable to sleep, even if my brain already seems to be off in another realm of existence altogether. But anyways I'm awake and here so I decided that I might as well post something in this thing even if I really had nothing to say, which is quite often in my case if you haven't noticed yet. All I've done since my last post was the usual: get up, go to work, work, come home, go back to work, work, come home again, play on net, try to sleep. *repeat almost all 365 days a year* Yup not too much to comment about there.

Well, today I did recieve a rather 'interesting' comment from a customer over at where I work. It was some little old lady probably looking for a present for her grandkids or maybe she was there with someone else (I wasn't paying attention). Anyways she was checking out and I was doing my job as usual (every day of the year it seems) when she looks over top of the counter and at my left hand where I'd written a number (I'd forget it otherwise and writing it on my hand is the only way I can remember things). She then looks up at me again and says:

"So you were in prison?"

I didn't get what that was about at first until I saw her motioning at the numbers written (she probably thought they were tattooed or something) on the back of my hand and more than likely the rest of my 'odd' appearance. Of course I found this comment rather judgemental of the old bat, since I happen to like wearing: black, a chained wallet and have a missing eye. That doesn't make me a fronging criminal, but that just goes to show you how much people tend to go about judging a person based on appearance alone. Seeing as it irritated me to no end I decided to give a trademark 'Raz Smartass Remark'.

"Yeah just got out of Rikers on parole a couple of weeks ago. It's been years since I've seen the outside, what with that 'attempted murder' conviction hanging over my head and all."

After giving her that nugget of wisdom she gave me this rather bewildered look, took her purchase and left still shooting me glances over her shoulder as if she expected me to jump the counter and stab her to death with my click-pen. It probably would've served the old bat right if I did do just that, then maybe she'd learn not to judge someone by freaking appearances alone, that is unless she wants them to act on those assumptions.

Add another reason to the 'Why I Hate Old People List'.

Bite me grandma,

-Raz

Translation game

2004-06-11T08:43:44Z

Not much has happened since...*looks through last entry* yesterday, other than the fact that I bought myself the Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures for the Gamecube. So far it's a pretty good game, the graphics are excellent and it only helps to remind me of the good old rpgs from back in the day of the original NES and SNES. If you've got a 'cube and some extra cash I suggest going and picking yourself a copy up (esp. if you're a rpg fan and like multiplayer optional play) or at least rent it and try it out for yourself.

But other than that, just really stuck on this one song called 'Das Omen' by E Nomine. If you can't tell by the band name this group's german, but what I really like about them is how they also include latin in their music, so it's sort of a classical/metal mix. Just think Rammstein with some classical (namely latin chanting like you'd get in a cathedral) thrown in and you'll get what I mean. Seeing as I'm bored I decided that I'd post up the lyrics and my lame attempt at translating the latin and german portions (since none are available on the net). So all the translations are rough at best since I'm not exactly a master of latin or the german language yet, but enjoy my pitiful attempt.

~ Das Omen ~

- The Omen -

By. E Nomine

Nigrae legiones, ferus imperator, sinus occultus, fatum terminatums das Omen

(Black legion, fierce leader, hidden heart, limiting fate, the Omen)

imperio imperio impera fortuna crudelitas

(powerful tyrannical leader fate's cruelity)

Du drehst dich im schwarzen Licht
Dein Schatten explodiert wie ein Vulkan
Du bist wie ein Stern, der spricht
Verfallen bin ich dir in meinem Wahn
In deinem Bann du mich ertränkst
Unsterblich dann mir Leben schenkst
Öffne das Tor der schwarzen Legionen
Schließe den Kreis des Bösen, das Omen

You turn in the black light
your shade like a volcano
you are exploding like a star, I speak
of purging you in my illusion in your
spell you drown me in immortality then I live
open the black gate putting ions latch the circle
of the bad one, the Omen

imperio imperio impera fortuna crudelitas

(powerful tyrannical leader fate's cruelity)

Ich senke mein Haupt vor dir
Wenn du im Orbit glänzt
Ich spüre die Macht, wenn du mich von den Göttern trennst
Du bist mein Heiligtum
Du bist mein Licht im Raum
Du bist das Leben
Du bist der Fluch
Du bist das Omen

I lower my head before you
if you in the orbit shine
I feel power, if you separate me from the Gods
you are my welfare
you are my light in the world
you are the life
you are the curse
you are the Omen

Das Omen

(The Omen)

nigrae legiones, ferus imperator, sinus occulutus, fatum terminatum

(Black legion, fierce leader, hidden heart, limiting fate, the Omen)

Du bist die Kraft, die Macht und die Prophezeihung in Ewigkeit
Du bist das Omen

You are the strength, power and the prophecy in eternity
you are the Omen

imperio imperio impera fortuna crudelitas

(powerful tyrannical leader fate's cruelity)

Woohoo, now wasn't that lesson in latin and german fun or what?

-Raz

New Look

2004-06-10T07:42:37Z

Back again and this time I've redesigned my journal layout (hopefully the fronging background appears this time), but please note that the wallpaper/background and the main icon are Copyrighted © 1999 - 2004 via me. Both are my original artwork/character concepts for my comic and neither can be used without my express permission.

Just letting people out there know because there's a lot of assholes out there that make a career out of stealing other people's artwork, and thanks to such a thing all of my original art is also embedded with a watermark and my name, email address and copyright years. Please email me if you see this artwork being used by someone else so that I can flame their ass to hell and back and then gut them with the ISoD(tm).

But other than that...

Life is just it's usual boring self save for a few minor differences, though none are really worth mentioning save for the fact that on memorial day weekend Walker dragged my ass to his family reunion over in Rhode Island. I honestly didn't want to go, but seeing as Walker needed a ride there (he has no vehicle of his own) and didn't want to ride with his flaming brother in his volkswagon he forced me to take him. How exactly he pulled that off was with an allotment of threats, namely to make my life a living hell if I didn't do this favor for him (aka bringing in my ex to torment me, ravenous monkies, stealing my liquor, etc.). So I ended up hauling his ass down there (he didn't really want to go himself, only going to get his good old mom off his back) and spent the day with a bunch of wackos.

Walker's parents seemed rather nice and so did most of his brothers, though I chose to try and keep my distance from everyone seeing as I wasn't part of the family and was just the chauffer for my AM buddy. But the food was good and not to mention it was rather entertaining watching Walker be mobbed by several nieces, nephews, and brothers. The real entertainment though was when Walker's gay brother showed up (he wasn't invited for obvious reasons) with his lover and when Walker's other brothers chucked the gay one (Ryan I believe is his name) into a hall closet. I doubt they realized then the whole irony of that, but they pretty much left the brother's lover alone.

After that episode I just got to hang out with the wild clan and I've never heard so many kids call Walker 'Uncle Walkie Talkie'. I didn't believe that they all called him that (including the teenager O_o; ) but I should've guess with Walker's psycho family, but then again I'm probably no less psycho then the lot of them.

Let's just say I'm relieved that I don't have a family to have a reunion with.

Well got to go now, maybe I'll post this rant I've been thinking about tomorrow.

Until then,

-Raz

Nothing much

2004-05-27T07:09:22Z

Not much to report since my last post here other than the fact that I recently got a hold of a 136 pg. settei set from the X TV series. I even got some extra copies of character production sheets, all of which I'll try to have scanned and posted up shortly in my cel gallery which I mentioned in my last post. So if anyone actually reads this thing and is interested check out the link and let me know what you think of my little collection so far.

But other than that not much to say...oh yeah, before I forget I've got to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for awhile.

You know that X rpg I mentioned awhile back that I was participating in? Well things are going slow (again) at the moment, but that's not the problem that's been bothering the hell out of me. What has been bothering me though is one of the group owners who rps as Kamui in the rpg, and I have to say that she can be a total bitch about things assuming that other players and I are trying to decide for her what's going to happen with Kamui. I don't care WTF happens with Kamui, for all I care the little prick can get hit by a bus, so this bitch better not start lectering me on how I play Fuma because nobody else wanted him and I decided to take him so things could get started. To put it perfectly honest Fuma is pretty damn boring to rp as his normal self, there's really not much to rp about so when I actually try to give him a bit of personality (have him experiencing odd behavior, clearly as the manga states he does) this bitch jumps on my case about 'choosing' which side Kamui is going to be on.

I'm not 'assuming' anything (I told her) and that I'm simply going off what the manga showed and that Fuma isn't displaying the traits specifically of 'Dark Kamui', just the bizarre behavior that's known to plague him since his mother's death (I call licking off blood off of my dead mother's head pretty bizarre anyway). So apparently I made her feel like an idiot with my reply and she tries to cover it up saying 'I just wanted to know just in case Kamui chose differently that it wouldn't be a problem for you' or something along those lines. Sure, you act like a total bitch and then try to change it to doing something 'nice' and 'considerate' for me? You must think that I'm a total dumbass and I'm really sorry to disappoint you. *rolls eye*

I should also let you know that this psycho chewed another player out though she did it publicly on the board (at least mine was email) and I thought that she could have been a bit 'nicer' about things rather than blowing a @#$%ing gasket. But apparently this chick isn't too considerate of other people, funny seeing as she can barely spell and I have a hard enough time understanding anything that she posts (after she chewed someone else out about spelling and abbreviations).

Also another thing that annoys the hell out of me about her is how she keeps referring to herself in the third person, WTF is up with that? Why do people even do that, it just makes you seem like a total retard '(insert name here) is stupid' *drools*. It sounds like something a two year old would say and not an adult who's going to college. It isn't cute, so quit making the rest of us feel stupid by reading your pathetic posts.

RPG posts that I must mention are only about a sentence long each. Woohoo! A whole @#$%ing sentence! Couldn't you put a little bit of effort in it, it's not like she's swamped with other characters to post for seeing as she only rps as Kamui while the rest of us are juggling 2-3 characters a piece, and all of us post more than a @#$%ing sentence. Apparently she can't read her own rules that clearly state 'Try to post more than a sentence', guess she thought that doesn't apply to her and she only posts about once a week or so and up and leaves off to who knows where right when you're in the middle of a rpg interaction with her (she took off for a week while in the middle of a convo. with Fuma so I was stuck). I'm really beginning to think that I'm going to have Fuma try and kill the ever bitchy little Kamui whether or not he's a Dragon of Earth or a Dragon of Heaven, maybe then it'd give the psychopath a wake up call.

That's all I've got to say *kills Kamui with ISoD(tm)*

Lates,

-Raz

Cel Gallery

2004-05-15T08:54:35Z

Just doing a quick update to announce that I've finally created and opened my own anime cel gallery at Rubberslug.com to display my little collection. Hopefully I'll have more cels to add to it in the future but I'm pretty proud of the collection I've got going considering I barely started cel collecting this year and have 'limited' funds to say the least.

But anyways, go check it now.

http://sakuradream.rubberslug.com/gallery/home.asp

*Goes back to cel searching*

-Raz

I Hate Me

2004-05-12T05:42:44Z

Just when things start looking up again yet another piece of badluck comes along to spit in my face. -__-; Unfortunately looks like my good old lizard might be seriously sick so I'm going to see about getting him over to the vet tomorrow during my lunch hour, seeing as I don't want him to also go the same way that good old Larva did. He's just started acting rather bizarre recently, he refuses to move around much, barely opens his eyes and won't even try to chomp on other people like he normally does. Needless to say I'm rather worried about the little guy so hopefully it doesn't turn out too serious.

Other than that same shit different day. I just feel really...worn out I guess you could say, I feel like I'm almost not all there anymore as if my mind finally decided to take a permanent vacation if you know what I mean. I barely seem to notice what's going on around me anymore, I don't really even seem to recognize other peoples' faces on the street when I see them, whether it's because I don't consider them worth remembering or important enough I'll never know. But some days I swore I'm losing my fronging mind as the days just sort of drift by me without me really taking notice or 'interacting' with the events going on around me, almost like I'm just a sort of passerby.

Maybe I am finally losing it, my mind now more preoccupied with my own imagination than anything else anymore. All I can really think of now is the characters inside my head, how their personalities are, what they'll act like, what their backstories are, etc. Maybe I'm just dedicated, but I find that even when I'm at work I'm always daydreaming about such things so I end up feeling like I'm walking around in a haze all day. But I think I like things better that way, how I don't have to put up with humanity's stupidity for long and can instead take off to my own little world and just will them all to die extremely painful bloody deaths.

A real thing that's been pissing me off recently being the whole abuse of Iraqi prisoners by American soldiers. Don't get me wrong, I'm no freaking tree-hugging hippie or anything, but honestly bastards who treat other people like that (as they did in the Vietnam War) need to have their asses handed over to the Iraqi vigilanttes and let them do WTF ever they want with them. And I'm not buying that load of bullshit the army is trying to feed to us about how the soldiers 'weren't trained' for such a situation, go @#$% yourself dumbass, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out 'Hey! We shouldn't be doing this' or that it's wrong. Hell, I have no @#$%ing training in the army branch and know better, guess that makes me a helluva lot better soldier than the bastards they sent over there who are acting like total dumbasses and making the rest of this country look like stupidasses ourselves.

Now thanks to these geniuses innocent americans are getting killed over there in retaliation. @#$% you military jerk-offs who were involved with the abuse of those prisoners, I say we hand over your sorry asses to the Iraqi people and let them rip you apart so no innocent people have to suffer.

Again, @#$% you military pansies.

Ok, I'm done for the day...maybe I should put this under a 'rant' warning, but I'll just leave it as is for now.

Peace out,

-Raz

Kills Computer

2004-05-11T06:07:38Z

Ok, I know that I haven't posted here as much as I used to but that's thanks in part to my stupidass computer and finals, both of which have about killed me. X_x; But now thankfully finals are over and I've got my comp up and fully functional (again) since after my stupid 'error incident' the damn thing couldn't seem to recognize my internet connection for some bizarro reason (even now I still don't know why) so I had to reinstall the whole internet hookup. Hopefully this problem will be the last that I encounter with it. But anyways, onto other things:

Went to see Van Helsing last night and I have to say that the graphics are killer and at least there wasn't a sappy ending and I've been working/stressing like mad and believe that my medication might be contributing to my insomnia. *looks at med. bottles*

Erh...other than that......someone say something already *runs up wall partially from insanity and the pounding headache that's been tearing his head apart since yesterday*

-Raz

Back Again

2004-05-05T07:59:31Z

Yeah I'm back (big surprise there, I'm harder to kill than a cockroach) after an extremely stressful past few weeks since my accident, but I'm not going to bitch about anything today so your torment will have to continue on another day. Instead I shall bore you with another brief update of my stupid existence for the hell of it and seeing as I finally got some free time to finally post in this thing between the giant messes I've been in which make up my life.

Well I've finally got the insurance and all squared away and got myself a new vehicle (it'll be two weeks since that event this thurs.) so that I can finally escape the ravenous denzens of the subways. But other than that my comp. had a massive error (a system32/lsass.exe in case anyone cares) that kept shutting down my system every five minutes and prevented me from accessing for awhile, finally fixed the damn thing the other day though after hours of pain in the arse toiling. Also I'm currently in the middle of finals week in college (yeah...) before we finally let out for summer, but that means a shitload of classes that I've still got to study for and try not to kill myself in the process, especially a ton of stupid internet reviews which I don't think I'll be able to finish at this rate.

*dies*

I swore I'm going to end up with gray hair within a few short years...

On top of all that my shoulder is hurting like a bitch (aftermath of the accident I assume, and damn thing still hasn't gone away!), sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night in pain and can't sleep. Work's been a bitch, gas prices went up, my lizard is passed out in his waterbowl, Mr. Peanut wont's shut the @#$% up and I'm now a yahoo japan auction freak, (seeing as it's much easier to get all my rare anime merchandise directly from japan).

Your Homocidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn

Your name:

Weapon of Choice:

Cigarette lighter

Your Favorite Target:

Retail workers

Your Kill Count:

624,499,560

Your Battle Cry:

"Moo!"

Years You Spend in Jail:

How Much Money In Damages You Cause:

$277,231,826,283,852

Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 93%

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Go figure that I'd be almost 100% homicidally insane.

Ok...I think I'm done now.

-Raz

Yet another update

2004-04-20T06:39:31Z

Now that I've stated that fact in an image that people will hopefully be able to understand I shall go on with the entry.

Looks like I finally will have everything taken care of with my bike, the body shop that it was taken to finally declaring it to have been totalled (go figure, I could've told them that considering the whole front half was missing) and the damage exceeding $9,300. So the insurance company will be paying off the rest of what I owed on the bike back to my credit union and I'll be getting back about $2,700 out of the deal, just enough to put down a down payment on another vehicle. Hopefully I should have my new vehicle in the next two weeks or so seeing as my credit union already pre-approved my new loan (after everything was cleared up with the insurance company) and I should be out checking out some of my options Wednesday. Also should be getting my tax return back soon (I hope) so I should have a bit more cash to help me pay off my bills and other things.

Yesterday I had quite an adventure at the local supermarket, but then again most of my life seems to be some sort of twisted adventure. Anyways, I was just picking up a few things and happened to be pulling something out of one of the freezers at the end of the frozen food section when I saw some lady with a bottle of liquor in her hand fall to the ground. Of course the glass shattered and the liquor spilled everywhere and the lady had landed chest first on the glass, and everyone else in the aisle just kind of stood there and stared (which I pretty much did for a few seconds not knowing WTF to do seeing as all this shiz happened right behind me). Then I finally asked the lady 'Are you ok?' and she mumbled something incoherently as she tried to rise up from the floor, though she wasn't being all too successful so I helped her up (a stupidass move on my part) and that's when I realized she was drunk.

How'd I realize this? Well first thing she did was look back down at the broken bottle and then back at me and asked, 'Can I get another?' of course I told her I didn't work there and then she stumbled off heading back to the liquor section. That wasn't before the lady had smeared blood all over my arm, obviously she had cut herself on the glass when the whole thing happened, but I was sure as hell to run into the bathroom and wash that shit off of my arm and I was quite thankful that I didn't have any cuts or opens wounds which the stuff could've gotten into. After cleaning up I headed back out to where the accident had taken place and where the store manager had finally shown up along with a few other employees to clean the mess up, then the other customers that had witnessed the incidents and I told the manager where the lady took off to. Then the manager left and it wasn't long before another store employee showed up and said that the lady had a new bottle of booze and had locked herself up in the bathroom where she was drinking it and refused to come out.

That's when the manager ended up calling the cops, but that wasn't before the lady finished off the liquor and tore out of the bathroom and outside. Thankfully the cops managed to catch her and I can only imagine that her ass is sitting in some jail cell now, but go figure the one day I decide to be a 'nice guy' to some stranger and they end up smearing blood all over me before running off to get hammered without so much as a thank you in return.

Ah well, I've come to expect such things especially living in this hellhole of a city.

-Raz

Blank...

2004-04-09T07:39:26Z

Not too much to really say (so why I'm updating this thing I don't even know) save for the fact that the stupid insurance company hasn't assessed the extent of the damage yet and are bombarding me with phonecalls to recall the whole incident every five minutes. So it looks like it might take longer than I'd like to get myself some new form of transportation, so I guess it's public transportation from here on in which looks like it might end up being a month or more if things keep up the way they're going. Also can't move my neck too far to either side so I'm pretty much stuck staring straight forward until it either goes away or my stupid advil finally starts to work.

Other than that...erh, made a new icon and oh yeah, I'm an asshole.

-Raz

My Luck Is A Bitch...

2004-04-05T04:59:18Z

I swore my life and luck is a freaking bitch sometimes, because everytime something good happens to me (aka me getting my glass eye a few days ago) something 10x worse happens to me later on as if in retaliation. All I wonder is why the @#%^ does it always have to be me? Why not one of my stupid neighbors or all the other jerks/assholes/bitches out there that really deserve it? Reminds me of the comment I made some time ago in this thing about a @#$%ing plane flying through my window to kill my happiness, well it wasn't as monstrous as a plane but it's just as bad IMO.

I had a bad feeling that morning before I left, the same exact kind of bad feeling that made me consider ditching the entire trip to Vegas that I made with Lilyth back in October. You'd think after how things went rather badly then that I'd figure out that this feeling also meant something bad was about to happen, but no, I'm an idiot and ignore my instincts/psychic powers/WTFever and told myself 'don't be a @#$%ing wuss' and got up and left. I told myself the same thing before that trip, that 'everything's going to be fine, you're just being a retard is all' but apparently my subconscious knows a helluva lot more than I do (which ties into a weirdass dream I had about predicting someone's death back at HS and it actually happened, but that's a whole other story). So off I went.

Well yesterday I was out on my bike driving out toward Jersey (to go see an old friend) pulling off onto the main highway and things were going just fine, at least for the first 10-20 mins. of the trip. Then go figure that my @#$%ing luck would go all to hell.

So I was cruising along when all of a sudden some bozo in a @#$%ing pick-up clips my bike from behind as he's trying to pass me (and a little too close for comfort) and after hitting me he ran!

This sent my bike swerving down my side of the road, I tried to slow down and keep control of it but it was no good and my bike took a sharp turn and hit the guard rail sending me flying off onto the side of the road. I thought that I was dead for sure as I flew off my bike, everything seeming to go in slow motion as I thought 'Oh shit I'm gonna die for sure' and finally hit the ground with a thud. Surprisingly enough though I didn't go unconscious, and strangely I didn't feel any pain as I suddenly leapt up to see what had happened to my bike. The first thing running through my mind after I got up being 'My @#$%ing bike! OMG my bike!!!', I guess I was in shock then because I was running up and down the side of the road like a nut next to the wreckage of what used to be my motorcycle.

It was a @#$%ing miracle that I was even alive after all that shit (probably thanks more to my helmet), but all I could think about was my bike and nothing else, I guess the shock keeping me from noticing the injuries I'd suffered from the accident. But a trucker must've took notice of the accident and he pulled over in front of me and got out and asked if I was alright, I ripped my helmet off and said that I was fine and made it known I was more concerned about my bike. The guy seemed surprised but then told me to hang on while he went back to his truck and called 911, so I finally calmed down enough to sit on the guard rail next to what used to be my bike and the trucker finally returned. He told me that the police were on their way and he stayed with me for a few more minutes before he had to go, and he took off again heading back on his way.

It seemed to be nearly an hour before the police arrived(though I really had no grasp of time then, too busy freaking out over my bike), and then the officer came over and after finding out that I appeared to be ok went about asking me for my driver's license, registration, insurance, social security number, etc., he also asked what exactly happened (and I told him of the asshole in his truck, though I wasn't able to get his license plate number) and he then went about filling out the accident report while his partner took pictures of the wreck.
Shorly after this an ambulance showed up and the paramedics hopped out to make sure I really was 'ok', I told them that I was fine (not wanting anything else to do with a hospital for a minimum of 10 years after my last experience) and that I didn't need to go to the hospital, in fact I downright refused to go and they finally gave up.

The cops declared the accident as a 'hit and run'.

So the insurance company should take care of everything seeing as I had a bunch of other witnesses to the wreck, though unfortunately known of them seemed to get the license plate number of Mr. Asshole but their descriptions of him all matched mine. I guess the cops are still looking for the assmunch now, but that day they couldn't seem to find him and all I could do was wait for the tow truck to come and haul off the remnants of my bike and take me back home.

I only suffered some bad scratches, bruises and a serious case of roadrash, but other than that, at that time I seemed perfectly well and it wasn't until late last night that I had terrible pain in my shoulders, back and neck. Looks like I have whiplash, just $%^&ing PERFECT. I may have been lucky to live through all that shit with nothing too serious seeing as the cops said I was lucky enough to be alive, they said if I would have flown a bit farther I could have landed back in the middle of the busy road or flew over the railing and fell to my death. I realize that I'm lucky for being alive (under some circumstances) but that doesn't help the fact that my luck sucked enough for me to get the one in a million chance of getting hit by some retard and nearly getting killed, hell, with my luck I'm surprised that I wasn't killed.

Just looks like 'God' wants to torture me some more before I finally die.

But anyways I managed to make it to work today (though I couldn't get in for my part-time job or night classes yesterday due to the accident) and other than the effects of whiplash I should live and I hope to bloody hell that they find that bastard so I can personally run his ass over. Needless to say my bike was trashed beyond repair and that I can't get a replacement until the insurance has fully assessed the damage later this week, so for the moment I'm screwed in that department but I suppose it's a good thing I live in a big city and have plenty of public transportation to rely on (even as unpleasant as it tends to be).

Damn, I hate my @#$%ing luck...

-Raz

You Don't Need a #$%&ing Hug, You Need a Counselor

2004-03-29T07:54:19Z

Oh glorious day I've returned for yet another rant that will probably further my self-proclaimed life task of 'pissing of the world one man at a time!'. But before I go too indepth into that I suppose I'll give another quick update on my current state of life. First off I'm still alive *hears several groans coming from all around him* and spring break ends tomorrow *this time raz groans*, but on the other hand I finally get my new glass eye tomorrow! (never thought you'd hear some random person say that one) After all the hideous saving and bill paying I finally get the replacement I've been waiting months for, so perhaps I won't be called the 'one-eyed wonder' whenever I go down the hallway in my apartment complex.

But other than that I've had terribly insomnia lately (worse than usual) and ended up sleeping the entire day that I was off from work, seeing as my horny neighbors thankfully have day jobs (or so I'd like to think). Also have been in a frenzy playing Zelda (classic, 3-D, whatever the hell I can get my hands on) and Duel Monsters again, that is whenever I get the freetime outside of work and sleep (sleep which I don't have to worry about since I'm always suffering from sleep deprivation, but hell, makes more time for my games). Now with the return of college classes that's going to drastically cut down my gaming time.

Lastly my X rpg is currently going slower than hell. It seemed to have taken a sudden crash within the past few days, and what's worse yet is that I'm completely stuck until a minimum of a few days have passed in rpg game time and wouldn't the the group owners have it that their characters are having a convo. leaving not just me but several other characters stuck in a time rift (a convo. that they refuse to cut short for the sake of the rest of our sanity, or at least save it until the next day). But figuring how things work for me by the time the few days does pass in the game my characters will likely be: a.) Dead b.) Dying from some sort of infection/illness/boredom c.)Sitting around doing nothing d.) Getting killed/attempted getting killed by someone else.

Yeah, it kinda sucks at the moment. But anyways, onto the mindless rants that make this pathetic journal remotely worth reading:

WARNING: This is a rant, or piece of writing that has me go off on particular things that piss me off. So don't read this if you're: easily offended, can't stand insults, random curses, take things too seriously, don't believe others have a first amendment right or are too much of a pansy.

You Don't Need a #$%&ing Hug, You Need a Counselor

If there's one thing that I can't stand in this world it's emotional people. You know the type, the emotional 'trainwreck' people that practically die whenever something goes wrong (we'd all be fortunate if they actually did, but no...they have to live and continue torturing us), they're also incredibly clingy and always seem to throw out their problems to you whenever you so much as attempt to talk with them. Or they're the overly positive emotional 'bubbly' type that makes people like me want to barf until our intestines come out, and when something finally bad does happen to these overly-positive freaks of nature they turn into the aforementioned clingy types. I swore sometimes when I talk to people like this I want to take out my @#$%ing handgun and blow my other eye clean out of my head, hopefully taking my brain with it to a better place where I don't have to put up with this shit whenever I even attempt to socialize with other humans.

There's so much I can @#$%ing take you know. You just try being someone who's so unsocial that they've practically been diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder and try putting up with the shit these emotional punching bags keep spewing and expecting you to give a flying @#$% about. Sure, I can put up with such a thing every now and then, but not when you're pissing and moaning about it constantly and expecting me to sympathize with your sorry ass each and every time. Hello, you're talking to an anti-social loner bastard that probably was spat out of Hell by some freak accident one day or in my other version: A sadistic bastard born of a immoral bitch (like one from the previous entry) that unfortunately didn't die until after I was born.

And thus the world was a suckier place, amen.

But back to the subject:

You can't possibly expect someone like me to give a damn about all of your freaking problems, I am not your #$%&ing counselor so don't treat me like I'm one. There's only so far that you can push a friendship on this matter and if you keep flooding me with this shit it's going to eventually make me sick, I don't tell you all my freaking problems so pay me the same courtesy and don't drown me in your woes. Because in short I DON'T GIVE A @#$%! Also do me the favor and don't tell me everything about your daily life that I never even asked about, for instance what happened while you were at work, I don't give a damn about what happened at where you worked (or else I'd ask) unless someone @#$%ing exploded from human combustion or a weasel gnawed out some prick's internal organs until they were nothing but a twitching mass off bloody flesh on the ground. I DON'T CARE DUMBASS!

I don't tell you what I do at work, seeing as I don't want to bore you to tears or until you're on the verge of commiting suicide (though for some people I'd consider it), but obiviously other people don't get this. Same goes with the emotional dribble, please spare me for having another reason to kill myself, it's bad enough that Zoloft has been discovered to make people suicidal, so I don't need anything else is that ok with you? I personally also wouldn't like to commit suicide on your account, rather I'd prefer to do it on my own terms, so if you're so emotionally 'overwhelmed' you should try getting on Zoloft and see a 'real' counselor and maybe you'd get a life or kill yourself and save us all the trouble of having to kill your sorry ass. You need some @#$%ing emotional support, can't you realize this you unstable freak?!

Also get a @#$%ing spine, you can't expect me to be your emotional support and your @#$%ing body guard so don't treat me like one you self-centered emotional-wallowing bitch!

And you overly positive people out there, quit telling me how life is so @#$%ing peachy and that it'll 'get better', because like hell it will, why don't you live my @#$%ing life first then tell me 'everything's going to be ok'. I don't tell you how to live your life or how your life is going to suck (though I have courtesy of just thinking it), so what gives you the right to tell me to be 'positive'? Like I'm going to change my whole life on account of some stupid bastard that tells me to put a smile on my face and pretend everythings going to be fine, hell, if I got half my @#$%ing head blown off these stupidasses would tell me things would be great, it was a gift from 'god' or some other mindless shit that they can cough up. Well whoop-de-@#$%ing-do, life is great, it's all sunshine and rainbows, why don't I become a @#$%ing prick right now since it's not acceptable to think 'bad' thoughts in your presence and be a type of human that can actually see WTF is going on around me.

Tell me, if life's so @#$%ing great then why is the world as shitty as it is? Really, why are there so many immoral people, assholes, bastards, sluts, bitches, terrorists, criminals, serial killers, drug dealers dealing out Special K to elementary kids out of an ice cream truck, gang bangers, and WTF ever you can think of? It's because life is perfect right? So I should believe your dumbass after seeing all this and believe that there's nothing wrong with this world, that things are going to work themselves out? Well talk to my @#$%ing nuke when it hits your shitty house and blasts your sorry ass to kingdom come and back again and then tell me how good life is.

I rest my case: You're an idiot.

-End rant-

I don't give a shit.

-Raz